Bad at math

I have never been great at math. Full disclosure: I failed math in 10th grade, and had to repeat it the following year. For an otherwise straight A student, this was beyond humiliating. I ended up kicking butt the second time around, but this failure was enough to scar me for life. I carry that F like a scarlet letter, branding me as forever bad at math.

It turns out that I'm pretty good at real life math, except for when it comes to time management. The little one has been sleeping through the night for 2 weeks now, which is wonderful beyond measure. I have been waiting for this extra time at night for nearly 3 years. But now my to do list has swelled to simply unreasonable proportions. I have 2 hours after the kids go to bed and before I should go to bed in order for me to be well rested.

Instead, I'm trying to cram every little thing I ever dreamed of accomplishing into that time slot. Watch TV/movies, exercise, clean the kitchen, organize the kids' toys, pedicure, bath, laundry, fold laundry, clean the bathrooms, empty the trash, knit, pore over cookbooks, fundraising for the school, Facebook, thank you cards, wrap gifts, email, blogging... So now I'm going to bed later than ever before and getting less sleep than I should... And all I really wanted was some more sleep.

I guess I really DO suck at math.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!

On Friday night, I had my first full night of sleep since July of 2007. 9 hours straight! And I feel appropriately AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Transformation Central!

Change is coming, and it feels good!

The little one is getting it- going to sleep on her own, not quite sleeping through the night, but working on it. Weaning has started, and while it isa challenging, trying time, and an emotional time (mentally and hormonally- I'm all over the place here, people!), it is also a hopeful one. I'm starting to see a future with a tiny bit of time carved out for ME. I'm seeing evenings knitting in front of the TV, time spent with my husband, EXERCISE, more time to write (!)... OK, I don't want to get carried away, but the possibilities are enticing.

The most enthralling prospect is the possibility of actually sleeping through the night one day soon... for the first time in more than two and a half years. SERIOUSLY! Now that I'm getting closer to having some semblance of sleep, I'm realizing the extent that sleep deprivation has eroded my life. Always feeling foggy, very often angry, run-down, impatient... I'm euphoric at the prospect of sleep.

In related transformative news, I finally used the box of hair color that has been sitting in my bathroom drawer for months. No more grey! That in itself is an Easter miracle! And go myself to the nearest barbershop for a trim. I'm moving towards new woman territory!

OK, I know it is sacriledge to blog about the mundane- what you eat, drink, errands- the boring stuff that makes up everyday life. But at this point in my life, this stuff is the stuff of possibility and excitement.

Wish me luck

Wish me luck as I embark on a parenting milestone/challenge of epic proportions: weaning AND sleep training the little one. Although it is bittersweet, it's also time. So this weekend/next week/God forbid the following week you can expect my posts to either be exceedingly long and philosophical, or, more likely, curt and angry. Or, exhausted and sad.