I've been feeling great lately. Sleeping through the night sure helps with the attitude adjustment. Then, out of nowhere, a day of deflation. Someone saying something to take the wind out of my sails, tantrums by the kids, feeling like I'm never, ever enough.
Depression, eff right off! I know you well enough to consider you an old friend, but although we are well acquainted, I know better than to call you friend. The enumeration of all of the ways in which I am failing my kids, my husband, myself are utterly endless, and I am sick to death of hearing them replayed in my mind AD NAUSEUM.
It is nauseating, truly. I have a great life, with the best family anyone could ever hope for. I know this. So why does this happen again and again and again? Whenever something goes awry I feel like its the end of the world, and I then I feel like the end of the world is all my fault.
This time, as quickly as the dark cloud formed above my head, it dispersed, and the world is looking sunny again. The question is: next time this happens, will I remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
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Have you read "Mud Puddle" by Robert Munsch? The mud puddle jumps on the girl from out of nowhere. Sometimes that's what depression is like for me. It comes out of nowhere, completely buries me then, with a lot of work, I can "clean it off" and carry on... too bad throwing bars of soap at it don't work. It would be a lot easier!!
ReplyDeleteLove you, K.Lo!
ReplyDeleteGirl, you know I feel your pain. And I do think awareness is a huge part of coping so you are on your way. Love you
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